BLACK LIVES MATTERS Socially & Systemically

“I can’t breathe” won’t go out of my mind, I’m dreaming of it and I’m having dreams about Gorge Floyd’s daughter Gianna Floyd saying  “Daddy Changed the world” over and over, also I can’t forget what his wife said about how he won’t be there for her graduation and walk her down the aisle I feel all kind of physical sensation and so angry that we still live in a world that judging others for their color, social static, and religion.  Writing about racism is hard and so painful specially if you faced racism, what makes me angry is that when I respond to it in every day’s  life people responds to me with “you are being  politically correct” first of all I don’t like being  politically correct because it means that you’re a saint and you never made a mistake in your life and you will never make one and being politically correct means that we live in a world where there is one opinion and one dream to all of us, Anti- Racism is not being politically correct it’s an actual issue and real problem.  There is systemic racism and social racism too, and how it’s in our everyday life some are unseen because it’s not filmed or even recognized by certain societies in the Middle East as long as it doesn’t harm anyone physically it means it’s not racism. 

In the Middle East, it starts with parents making fun of their kids when they are little kids by telling them and I’ve heard it so many times “Don’t stay out under the sun for too long or else you’ll become black”, it’s the most disgusting thing to say to your children, then kids will start crying because they’ll say to them “look you became black “and it’s just the tip of the iceberg. In the Middle East social racism goes by without a blink of an eye because no one Is bothering themselves to teach their kids or society that it’s wrong,  kids grow up thinking that the “ N” word is fun to say, only because we never had systemic segregation, it been always social segregation the law doesn’t punish you for being black but society dose, since the beginning black people work at the rich and royal family’s homes they won’t sell them or buy them they are raised in their homes as helpers!!!  “ Like it’s not slavery” what they think is that it’s not like the U.S or Africa where the segregation was protected by the law and police so it’s not racism and that’s what makes people in the Middle East now and then sleep peacefully.  In the present time,  I get so angry all the time from artist putting a black face and wearing African outfits with intention to make it look like it’s fun not knowing the history  and their music videos will get millions of hit’s, and  in drama show’s people will wear black face like it’s funny not with intention to show something historical, and I know many will say that oh no it’s not that big of a deal we are peaceful and not racist, then let me be specific how about when an Algerian black girl won Miss Algeria everyone talked about how ugly and wondering how did she won she’s not white, how about when Meghan Markel married Prince Harry everyone one thought and said it out loud that she’s black she’s not at the royal family’s level, and friend of the family even sent a photo that shocked me that this person been in my life for years he sent a photo of a white women saying that Harry should marry this beauty not that blackish ugly actress, it’s Middle East unspoken rule of royal families,  that the queen or the princess the one who will give birth to the future king should be white it’s unspoken rule but we all know about it secretly and even if someone from the royal family marries someone black they keep her hidden.

From my personal experience where do I even begin, I was bullied my whole life in school for being black for example when I was seventeen I met a guy and we started talking and things were going very well we were talking about life marriage and kids and he out of nowhere said  “No we can’t get married because you are black girl you can still be in my life beside my wife”  I remember I was sick to my stomach and I ended things, and after a year I have meet a guy from another Arabic  country we were talking just like the first time and he again out of nowhere said “You know I will sacrifice a lot for being with black girl because you know how our society sees it”  in that moment my head was spinning how can you be that racist and still telling me you love m , what I realized years from that situation is that we are not just uneducated but we are not even seeing it as a condition that been passed  through our DNA not knowing that we have it and that’s the problem, other incident when I was sixteen one of my mom’s extended family and they come from mixed race family, I was talking about this guy I like so much this person responded with “You know that guys like him they don’t marry black girl like you” even when my dad is black and I’m black there’s no logic,  and other situation at school when I was fourteen I was having a random conversation with a white girl I still remember her and she’s famous here in my country I said to her “ Oh why did you cut your hair”  she responded with  “At least my hair will grow but you can’t change your black color”, one other girl every morning she will say the most disgusting racist slangs like whenever she sees me walking with a white girl she makes sure to say something like “Wash your hands and her color will come out your hands”, years from that I was on a famous musical reality show and just when I thought that I will never hear a racist comment again and I am sure it’s been recorded one of the guys who’s been responsible for cleaning the place said to me “Shorok your task is cleaning the floor and when I declined he responded with “ The dirt won’t even show on your hand”  meaning  that it won’t be won’t notice because of my color” I remember I was so angry of him  because the whole time he’s so nice to me and out of nowhere he said that why? he kept apologizing but I don’t think he would’ve apologized if i didn’t get mad, another incident was when we were in a bus and it was so dark and one of the guys said no problem Shorok can smile and it will light the bus and again this guy was so nice to me all the time and protects me, all these incidents happened with people from different Middle Eastern and Arabic countries, not just one country, all the time racism is our DNA that it’s not even noticed as racism it’s because even black people are feed by their parents or society that they are less like it’s a common thing to hear black people in the Middle East to say how they want to marry a white woman to recreate the family’s genetics,  it’s a known as a joke here. And even when I came out of that musical reality show the comments on the internet because social media wasn’t that big then twitter was not even big in 2007, the comments were about my color and how ugly I look and that I look disgusting and that I don’t deserve to be there and most of them they are coming from Arabic Middle Eastern people. 

I never believed racism is that big in the U.S when I was younger I thought that it’s there but it’s not that big because it’s America the place of the  “American Dream “ until I went there and the most unbelievable thing happened to me and my dad a white driver from a famous transportation app saw me and my dad and he immediately said “Oh this ride will take too long and along the way I’ll pick up a too many passengers and it will be crowded I said fine because it never hit me that he doesn’t want to take us it was so obvious and he kept giving us excuses, I looked at me and dad who told me to ask him to stop the car and step out of the ride I was so shocked because until that moment I didn’t see it as a big issue like it’s just in some southern  states, to be honest from that moment I started to educate myself about racism in America and  I believed that the police brutality in the U.S is bigger than what the media reporting, because of what happened to me and he wasn’t even a police officer and to be honest from what I read, I was too scared even to go back to the U.S especially when I started to see all the black men being killed by racist cops because my dad is black and what if a police officer stops him in the airport or the streets and kills  him,  I am that sacred that I really considered never going back to the U.S even that I love being there,  the people are amazing I have a lot of friends there but what if one time a police officer feels the need to stop my dad based  on his color and get him killed I can’t even imagine.

The other issue, we need to learn is to stop making it a celebrity thing, when celebrities become bigger than the issue and using it by their PR teams to gain more fans or be more likable is to make sure to jump on every serious issue and make it look like it’s just the entertainment business issue, I like and admire people like Oprah Winfrey and Denzel Washington they never act with their EGO to use their celebrity statues to be likable with the intention to make their name bigger and more, they truly want to heal the nation and to make a difference in the world while doing it behind the scenes and they don’t add fuel to the fire, I have never in my life heard Denzel Washington bragging about his achievements or making sure that his name will be on every entertainment news just to feed his ego even Oprah she always make sure to say her opinion without letting the world of social media or the news networks bully her into silence, she makes sure that the right people feel the change not just the people in the entertainment business  I will never forget her speech in the golden globes when she talked about the ME TOO movement I quote her

“ But it’s not just a story affecting the entertainment industry. It’s one that transcends any culture, geography, race, religion, politics, or workplace. So I want tonight to express gratitude to all the women who have endured years of abuse and assault because they — like my mother — had children to feed and bills to pay and dreams to pursue. They’re the women whose names we’ll never know. They are domestic workers and farm workers; they are working in factories and they work in restaurants, and they’re in academia and engineering and medicine and science; they’re part of the world of tech and politics and business; they’re our athletes in the Olympics and they’re our soldiers in the military.”

, basically they want the real change not the “In the moment attention”.  And one of the things that made me walk away from politics, is how politicians because they will always say the right things to get elected or things the crowd want to hear, because in these important defining moments politicians will always jump to the issue to serve their political agendas driven by their egos and how they can use it for their interest, knowing that behind closed doors they don’t give a dam about it and they take it as an advantage to get people on their side and not as a moment to truly change the world.

At the end, what I want to say is that racism first starts at HOME, Hating one another starts from Home,  if it makes you angry start to correct your own home, hating each other’s based on our Religion starts from HOME, political difference and killing each other for politics and politicians at home richer than me and you while sleeping with a peaceful conscious because the know at HOME someone teaching their children that the other part is Evil so it starts at HOME, when someone disrespects someone with a racial comments it starts with you and me at HOME, change come when we raise our children to have healthy opinions and good manners it doesn’t matter what you think is right or wrong this generation is feed with accounts on social media fans bullying each other’s, political extreme ideas from all sides and we have millions and millions of people all they have is fear, hate and a revenge mentality. Let’s remember it all starts from one HOME to millions of HOMES filled with Racism, Sexism and so many issues.   How do I know that it starts from HOME because I was raised to never judge or see people with their color, religion, nationality and sexuality, and I’m so proud of how I was raised to be open to love everyone the same way. Remember, it all starts in your own HOME, you can set all the laws but you still can’t control what happens inside peoples HOME.

Finally, I will end this article with one of my quotes “We were all humans until race disconnected us, religion separated us, politics divided us and wealth classified us.” ~ANONYMOUS

To all the souls we lost REST IN PEACE. Justice will be served sooner or later.


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