For Once let’s not be serious and let’s take a break, for a Self-Care reasons and to let go of all the bad news we hear all the time, Covid-19 and all the chaos around the world and around us as individuals, these are the movies and shows that made me and some of them changed me forever. And please make sure to write in the comments your favorites movies and shows that I must watch.

Enjoy you freaks

ShoroK♥♥  

These Are My All Time Favorite Shows

  1. Oprah Winfrey Show + Super Soul Sunday + Next Chapter + Master Class
  2. Gilmore Girls
  3. 24
  4. Mad About You
  5. Ally Mcbeal
  6. lizzie McGuire
  7. Friends
  8. Pretty Little Lairs
  9. When They See US
  10. Bernie Mac Show
  11. Elementary
  12. Suits
  13. Game Of Thrones
  14. Buffy The Vampire  Slayer
  15. Sabrina The Teenage Witch
  16. Everybody Loves Raymond
  17. The Office
  18. La Casa De Papel (Spanish Drama)
  19. Self-Made
  20. Bodyguard
  21. The Sinner (season one)
  22. Seinfeld
  23. Jane The Virgin
  24. The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air
  25. How To Get Away With Murder
  26. New Girl
  27.  Seinfeld

These are my all time favorite Movies

  1. Titanic
  2. Long Kiss Good Night
  3. The man in the iron mask
  4. Sleepless in Seattle
  5. You’ve got mail
  6. Goal
  7. The Hours
  8. Mission imposable
  9. All the kings men
  10. Eat  Pray Love
  11. Revolutionary Road
  12. Carmel
  13. Gangs of New York
  14. Ocean 11
  15. Harry Potter
  16. 27 Dresses
  17. Adams family
  18. Body Of Lies
  19. The Devil Wears Prada
  20. The Hunger Games
  21. Precious
  22. John Q
  23. Saving Privet Ryan
  24. Man of Honor
  25. Forest Gump
  26. Clueless
  27. Matilda
  28. Hook
  29. Speed
  30. Face/ Off
  31.  Jurassic Park (OG)
  32. Noting Hill
  33. Bridget Jones Diary
  34. Sense and Sensibility
  35. Pride and Prejudice
  36. Friday
  37. Shaft
  38. The Silence of The Lambs
  39. Heat
  40. The Godfather
  41. Coyote Ugly
  42. Pretty Women
  43. Sherlock Holmes
  44. Man On Fire
  45. Don’t Say A Word
  46. Just Married
  47. Man In Black (OG)
  48. Taken
  49. Charles Angels (OG)
  50. Meet The Parents
  51. Big Mama
  52. Alice In Wonderland
  53. Panic Room
  54. The Da Vinci Code
  55. Inception
  56. Erin Brockovich  
  57. Revolutionary Road
  58. Cast Away
  59. 300
  60. Fever Pitch
  61. Ray
  62. Iron Lady
  63. The Hurt Locker
  64. The Of The Rings
  65. The Kings Speech
  66. Darkest Hour
  67. Roma
  68. The Grand Budapest Hotel
  69. Hugo
  70. Fences
  71.  What’s Love Got To Do with It
  72. The Bodyguard
  73. Pursuit of Happiness
  74. Selma
  75. The Help
  76. Hidden Figures
  77. 8 Miles
  78. Lake House
  79. John Wick
  80. Fifty Shades Of Grey
  81. The Equalizer
  82. Contratiempo (The Invisible Gust)
  83. Lions For Lambs
  84. Valkyrie
  85. Downfall
  86. Julie And Julia
  87. Gone Girl
  88. Maleficent

For a while, I wanted to write about women progress in the 21stcentury, to question whether we are in a place where we can go to sleep knowing that we finally can say that things are right in the world for us and others and funny how life sometimes works, I was in a bookshop, and, I picked one of Virginia Woolf novels and something in my heart told me to take it back and buy a book about two of her famous essays A Room of One’s Own & Three guineas the first essay is about women and fiction, and the other is about women financial independence, education and how women are treated in masculine societies. 

I started to read it, and, from the first chapter, I thought a woman in 1928-1938 must be so brave to have these kinds of ideas and not fearing the response. Virginia Woolf is a badass woman, a straightforward woman. She never sugarcoats the truth. She’s asked to write about women and fiction. Her analysis comes from the idea that how can a woman become a writer when she doesn’t have her own home, room, office, and space, how can women are only represented in fiction through a male point of view ?! Virginia insists in her essay that even some female writers couldn’t succeed at writing good novels because they have been suppressed and controlled by their societies, their perception about women and men are prejudice, these essays opened my mind even wider about so many other issues women are still struggling with, yes we progressed in many ways like the right to vote, represented in politics, artists, writers, thinkers, activists, teachers, philosophers, doctors and we are in a place where we have the freedom to say, wear, love and chose the profession we love. But the question that keeps knocking on the back of my head “Are we 100% free individuals” equal to men. Am I allowed to be alone without being labeled as lonely stubborn, serious, and single miserable woman or girl? Overprotected, killed, or cast out without protection as a punishment for her relentless and fearless personality.

In 1928 Virginia Woolf talks about how men are judged and labeled by their profession CEO, soldier, professor, royal, etc…, while women are judged by the men they are married to, or being the daughter of a rich man, or her dresses are handmade in Paris and not judged by their profession, did it change today, yes, and no, yes women are CEOs, athletes, students, engineers, and artists yet judged as best dressed CEO or the engineer married to a rocket scientist or first ladies serving next to the president and not even paid for their role, and the writer whose married to a billionaire, no matter where we go in life and how much we earn we are still seen as objects or wondering about the reason why she is single, she’s single because she devoted her whole life for her career, who wants to be with that kind of a woman, but when a man does the same thing he’s seen as a genius and the woman who wins his heart is a great woman, so the whole world starts checking her background describing her as powerful woman, she headlines the news and websites asking “who is the woman who stole his heart and made him settle down” and how morning talk shows make her wardrobe as their top priority, but single achieving woman is miserable, uptight, and nightmare or crazy and bossy.

The next point is when Virginia Woolf discusses women’s own home, space, room, and income because Virginia Woolf was criticized for being materialistic and not focusing on critical issues, like discussing important matters regarding her community. In response, she questions those opinions by asking educated men how can women be more productive and cleaver when they don’t have their own space to think, read, study, and having their income? 

How can women be equal to men when they are portrait as incapable of doing things on their own? Did things change in the 21st century? YES and NO, yes in the western world women can live by themselves, move to a different city if they want, but still be told that they need a man to do the heavy stuff which they can hire someone to take care of it, and a man to protect them from stalkers or burglars, but when a man chose to live on his own no one tells him those things, he’s never asked about how he’s going to eat or clean the house?! Because unconsciously he knows for hundreds of years that he can hire someone to cook, clean, and take care of the house for him, instead of telling women all the time that they always need help they must tell them that we all need help when we’re living alone. In the Middle East, the idea of living alone itself is bizarre, even most progressed men refuse this idea, just like what Woolf stated how can women create music, fashion, books, study medicine, etc… when she’s forced to live with the family until she gets married. So marriage becomes her only escape from the chaos around her plus she can’t have her own library, office, living room, and garden unless she has a husband, or else doomed to live with other souls, suggesting that she need to be alone in her own space to create, think, and meditate or to have her own breathing space she is seen as a loner, rebel, ungrateful of the blessing called family gatherings, and seen as a shameful woman for wanting to live alone because living on her own is a sin.

Do you know why men feel the need for a big family, a wife, and a need to settle down and have quiet time with their children and grandchildren? Because their whole life they’ve been given the freedom to travel alone, to explore without the fear of being hurt, party, try new things without a companion around, so by their thirties, forties, fifties and sixties they are done from partying, exploring, so tired that all they want is peace of mind, quiet home with the kids and the wife, while on the other side women are kicking their ass off, working three times harder so they don’t become prisoners to the men in their lives, earning their own money and working so hard to have their financial freedom, so they don’t have to live under their men’s command.

Virginia Woolf tried to explain “how women are given income but upon condition, to agree with society or the men who run their society”, in 1938 she was talking about men supporting universities and writers, and women choosing their own profession and those women who chose to stay at home to raise their children are not supported and they are mainly dependent on their husbands or partners and they can’t ask for an income from the government because they don’t do anything for the public but their own families, what did change today, women who chose to stay at home and raising their children they don’t get enough respect and they don’t get the right treatment because according to some staying at home is an easy choice, she works 24/7 to raise the world future leaders, future professors and help to nurture them for the future, we are in the 21st century and we still don’t agree on respecting them, to this date staying at home mothers are still financially dependent on their men it and it doesn’t matter whether the amount or not.

What about supporting women’s issues, when only society and specifical men in power need women’s votes and for patriotic events such as nurses, typing reports at war times, why do we still live in a world where women become entirely important around the elections, around war times, when two male politicians campaigning against each other they use us to gain votes to defeat each other and why do they only remember us when they need our votes or support around war times, our patriotism is just needed around specific times.  

 Virginia Woolf pointed out at “silent voices” who support women equality movement but they do it behind closed doors, those men are worse than the ones whose fighting women equal rights, how can you express your full support in private and when your voice is needed you become invisible, what makes it even harder when some women are against gender equality and other women are scared of men’s rejection because strong women “feminists” are undesirable as if they been infected by a deadly disease. When it comes to this issue nothing has changed, the only time they care about women’s issues is when it’s the election, or for their businesses to look diverse enough to generate more income and some countries appoint women in high positions without the actual power that comes with it to convince developed countries, for example: appointing her as a CEO or as a party leader, or the speaker of the house put in mind that the board of the company, the party is controlled by the majority ( Men) they can bring her down whenever she refuses to comply to their orders and as a party leader she is appointed by the majority (Men) in the party they can/will take her down if she tries to change any policy because men will fight each other but when it comes to depose women from their position, they become allies so they can remind women that they will always be inferior, the speaker of the house is up there because people in power wants the system to look diverse enough, but looking around the company and parliaments you notice that women are the minority and the majority are men.  

Women are giving the right to vote, but in some regions they are forced to vote on government legislations which forces them to become slaves to their masculine communities, how can a women vote when all the candidates are conservative, anti-feminist, against gender equality, against women civil rights, candidates who support the separation of the genders in universities, movies theaters, insisting to pass a conservative dress codes laws, which allows men to wear what they want and forbidden women from dressing up freely, candidates who believes that when a man kills his wife, sister, mother to protect the family’s honor he serve a short amount of time in jail, and candidates who forbid women from marrying a man from other religions, yes in the 21st-century women are not allowed to marry the man they love if he practice a different religion, but men are allowed to marry women from different religions, while it’s illegal for women to marry men from other religions, men are given government support and a home, while women get nothing, plus the marriage in illegal, treated like a second class citizen. candidates who believe that when a man rapes a woman it’s her fault because she is not properly dressed, how can a woman with the right to vote, would vote for candidates who live in the medieval age.

Women in conservative communities and countries are physically abused and violated, and what women hear when their fathers, brothers, husbands physically abuse them “He is your brother, your husband, your father and he carries the family’s honor” And when men file for a divorce they use women honor to win the case by questioning her honor and the way she dresses, or how she stays out late and that she has male friends from work calling her that he doesn’t want his kids raised by a woman like her, and the court guarantees him the full custody of the children, “Not to forget religious countries don’t allow women to file for a divorce”.

Bottom-line we are human beings we came to this world as equals, we are not enemies, my dad is a man and a feminist, he is the one who told me to watch Oprah Winfrey if I want to be the kind of woman I aspire to be he is such badass father, who gave me all the freedom to be myself and treats me equally to my brothers, showed me how to be one of the strongest woman out there and to be the BOSS OF MY OWN LIFE (LOVE YOU DAD) He protected me from the men in the family by setting a rule that if they ever tried to hurt me he will kick them out of the house, i have been labeled with so many bad names, looked down at, always trying to create trouble to remind me that I can’t be a strong woman around them, they talk down to me because I am a strong woman, but also the man who defends me is my DAD, he’s my miracle in this masculine society, a society that can’t handle a strong independent woman who speaks her mind, a woman who wants to be respected by everyone and to be free of all strings attached to her religiously and socially. We need to teach women and girls at schools on being strong, independent, taking their own decisions whether wanting to work or staying at home mothers and wives or wanting men to provide them with everything. We need to give girls the right books to read so they can develop their own perspectives. We live in the 21st century and some individuals won’t accept that we are both human beings equal in rights and responsibilities. Finally, I think we need more badass women like Virginia Woolf, Emily Bronte, Elif Shafak, Maya Angelo, and Oprah Winfrey to lead the upcoming generation. 

ShoroK♥♥

“Peace is not just the absence of conflict; peace is the creation of an environment where all can flourish, regardless of race, color, creed, religion, gender, class, caste, or any other social markers of difference. Religion, ethnicity, language, social and cultural practices are elements which enrich human civilization, adding to the wealth of our diversity. Why should they be allowed to become a cause of division and violence? We demean our common humanity by allowing that to happen.” Nelson Mandela

OK let’s be honest for once, you might hear and see in movies and western mainstream reported you that we are a bunch of rich people throwing money like candy, or we are uneducated, extremely religious and Homophobic, terrorists and war is everywhere, some people fully believe the first one and others fully believes the second one.  The truth is the majority of us are the product of both worlds, and some in the middle with liberated and open-minded, and educated wanting to live a free life without hating the other and we want to live in peace with each other.

 Why it’s fucked up to be a Middle Eastern?!  We never had peace in the middle east, when I was 2 years old 1990 there was a war, and in the mid-90s after couple of years there was explosions in my country that my dad had to take out of my ballet dancing class because extremist  groups threatened to explode ,  2003 there was another war and bigger than the previous ones and as a 15 years old being taught how to run to the school shelters while hearing the warning sirens, and told that we might stay at the school for a week because of the strikes, the a amount of people with PTSD in the middle east is skyrocketing and we don’t have time to deal with it because we are always to next thing and next war, and let’s talk about political assassinations and activists, 2005, 2006, 2010 and 2015 etc… let’s not forget that we are always anxious about it might be my country next, so we are always living on the edge and if religious group take the power, minorities like “ liberals, people who believe in secularism and girls like me pay a huge price”.

Since I was a little girl all I ever remember is war, war, and war, extremism, and dictatorships using people religious beliefs and ideology to stay in the power, the hate speech against each other, I grew up in a household where everyone was accepted, my mom and dad had friends from every background, race, religions Christians, Jewish, Hindu, etc… And all sexes and sexuality, I grew up loving everyone and only treat them as human beings and if you’re not kind you’re not welcome into my life or you use hateful speech or discriminate others that’s what I’m going t judge you for; until I started going to school and that I realized that 90% of Middle Eastern people are different than my household.

  Let’s be honest for once again, Anti-Semitism is a common thing here,   since we were little kids you heard your teachers and 90% of the society here will tell you that telling you that Jewish and Christians are the enemies, the western world is the enemy, all my teachers my whole life I was hearing this from school, religious homes would use the most famous quote every week’s speech, to burn them and to kill them and to hurt them, in the same time we have religious sects and each sect’s leader tells their people that the other is the enemy so they start killing each other, and most of the political leaders use that for their own interest, so countries here they burn books accusing them of Blasphemy and in the name of fighting atheism. 

We are living in the 21st century the barriers are gone you can’t content This generation “Millennials”  we want freedom, enjoying art, music, creating, living a free life, reading the books that we choose, we want to be part of the bright future where we can tweet, follow famous people, cheering for our favorite teams, falling freely in love, go on a date, walking the streets without the fear of being killed or judged for what you’re wearing, we want peace with other nations regardless of what’s your nationality, history, color, believes and sexuality and just judge each-other based on kindness and good deeds.

In the end, I want to sit at a table and have a conversation and laugh with everyone, whether you are Arabic, European, American, Latino, Russian, Israeli, Palestinian, Asian, Iranian, African, and Australian I want all of us to share happy peaceful conversations about life, living all of us in peace, share music, creativity and create the world that the old generation couldn’t build, let’s stop hating and judging and drive the wedge even further say that as a young generation in the middle east we want to be able to live the full freedom,  I want us to love one another as human beings away from politics, I want us Millennials to be able to sit on one table without the judgment we have that media and politician tried to tell us about our difference and becoming scared of each other. I just want this current generation to sit at one table with all our differences and leave the past behind us, leave hate behind us, leave all the political harmful thoughts that they planted in our mind about the other, the fear of the other and the fear of the unknown nations, and that’s why extremisms been winning from both sides. And Stop celebrating the imaginable victories, and fake peace, leaders in the region need to stop using their political and personal agendas by using historical and religious events to gain or sustain power. Stop living in the past.

We All Deserve to be loved and respected because LOVE IS LOVE

“Today we should all ask ourselves: What have I done to improve the surroundings in which I live?” Nelson Mandela

ShoroK♥♥

‘A free press is the unsleeping guardian of every other right that free men prize; it is the most dangerous foe of tyranny. Where men have the habit of liberty, the Press will continue to be the vigilant guardian of the rights of the ordinary citizen – Winston Churchill”

“I fundamentally believe the right to anyone to use their imagination and their skills to tell a story if one author I felt, one artist is silenced we’re all in danger of the same – Oprah Winfrey”

If you have the kind freedom were you wake-up every morning freely choosing your own path and expressing your own thoughts, and you get to pick the kind of relationships you want to have in your life, you dress up the way you feel that day and not fearing what and how people in the streets will look at you or being sued for “inappropriate”, and speak your mind.  Then you’re blessed.

If you live in a country where you can speak your mind, to be a journalist and to write about what makes your country a better place, if you can live a life were you have the freedom to expose corruption and whoever behind it and not fearing the people in the top, then you are privileged to have that kind of freedom because for too many people it’s not even an option.

I do insist on discussing this issue because it matters to have a voice politically and socially, both are equally the same, because journalists without their papers and pen and a individuals  without their  personal freedom is like being a bird without a wing.  In some countries this right is protected by the constitution and it’s in the background of their daily lives, even the freedom of living, the kind of life you live   without fearing the laws and what would society say about you, furthermore, in the Middle East society punishes you even harder to the point where you get murdered. So every night you go to bed thinking that your opinion or your choices in life could get you killed or detained or experiencing domestic violence.

I am privileged that I grew up at a house where I’ve been given  the freedom to live the life I want, but not privileged enough to live in a society where I  can be myself without the looks and the judgment and even the hate, I can talk about my opinion but I can’t express it loudly because politically I’m forbidden from even following the wrong account on social media  and if your account is monitored or even re-tweeting or liked or following the wrong person i would get questioned by the authorities, because you are sent a text message from the authorities warning you that if do that you will be questioned and punished, and I choose not to vote in the election as part of my freedom to protest I will be deprived from my right to have so many privileges in the country.

If you post the wrong photo or you wear the wrong dress according to societies standard is inappropriate to wear, artists here in the middle east they are living the glamorous life and speaking their minds but they can’t cross the boundaries, it doesn’t matter what’s your message you can be strong and out spoken but deep-down you know it’s not possible to be like the western artists the way you dress or even speak,  you’re just lying to yourself, even  if  you think the opposite way, deep down you know you can’t talk about politics, sex and religion. You can act, sing and give speeches about your success but you will never have the freedom to be your full authentic self.  Otherwise you will be questioned and suspended by The Artist Unions.

As for journalist you can speak about the weather and how the country is so beautiful and the things that won’t get you in trouble , but you can’t cross the line that the authorities drew for you , you can’t expose corruption in the country, you can’t speak about a political scandal, or inquiring about the millions of dollars that  disappeared, you can’t ask about where did the donation money disappeared , you can’t write about what can be done better for the people in the country, because it’s seen as criticizing  the authorities and you could  be tutored or questioned in the attorney general office and you will be labeled as traitor.

At the end all I can say is that history is always moving forward even when it feels like it’s moving backward, sometimes history slows down so you could catch up, until it moves fast again and whoever stays behind will stay behind, no matter who you are or what kind of authority you have, because the universe’s dynamic of the don’t work on behalf of anyone, it works on its own specific and calculations. Move forward and adjust to the change or you will be left behind with the darkness and chaos.      

ShoroK♥♥

To all my single Ladies, 

Lately, I’ve been noticing girls, women feeling less about themselves and falling for the new trend where everyone is getting married, girls are having babies, and couples in love sharing their lives on social media and just sharing the happy times and the cute moments making it look like if you don’t have that you’re alone and you’re not living the “#lifegoals”, people are having babies and making it look like it’s cool on these platforms, young girls feeling like they want that too but all that is just a false expectation, having babies is a not cute it’s a huge responsibility, getting married is not cute it’s a responsibility too all these videos out there making it look like a ROMCOM movie, the truth is that those people are doing it for the views and money, and most of time for the sponsorships, so STOP QUESTIONING YOUR JOURNEY AND PATH.

I know the world is going through a lot and I know that it might not be that important to some, but life is moving forward and daily life is not pausing, people are getting married, breaking-up, cheating, and new people falling in love everyday even during COVID-19, so I’m writing this post to every girl, women whose being single and not being bothered by it, but even unbothered single girls are not being left alone.  Let’s start with some Movies, ADs, magazines and even when you’re having a normal human conversation with people at work is too much sometimes it feels like people are bothered that you’re not concerned about when you will meet the someone, and everyone has a mission to find you the ONE, even when for the million times you say “I know I’m going to meet the right person in the right time” makes them even more motivated to find you, someone. The funny thing is when people keep pushing that old myth which is an old news to me the “ you can’t b single and happy, you have to go out and put yourself out there” it’s one of the most disgusting opinion, first of all I’m not a bottle of water on the shelf I need to be picked up, second of all why it feels so unrealistic to those in a relationships and marriage that single ladies are not happy, so I decided to write this post to clarify it for once and for all  to those put all their power to force girls and women to be miserable and lonely until they find that someone, and those people succeeded at two things one by making girls and women feel scared and anxious about their body clock  that time is ticking and if your thirty or twenty eight and you still didn’t meet the one, then when are you going to have the right time to have children because you can’t just meet someone and  immediately marry them and have kids, that’s  why so many girls are rushing to meet someone to get married so by the age thirty she have kids and Voilà she feels accomplished.  It’s the narrative that society creates in young girls mind, that if you have the right job, the right husband and two beautiful kids with a picture perfect frame then you’re accomplished the ultimate goal, and then after years girls and women they find themselves alone in the wrong marriage, and now she thinks that something is wrong with her and that she’s miserable.

Let’s correct this, and throw away all the past judgment, before that. there is nothing wrong with dreaming of having a family, kids and getting married and wanting that is supper healthy the same with being single and feeling fulfilled and taking you own time to find the right person and walking into a relationship with steady steps, you don’t rush anything taking your own time, the thing is that after a while you realize that things are not how society is trying to show them, being with the right person in the right time is way better than meeting the wrong person in the wrong place and time. Mentally we are programmed to be scared of being alone, to celebrate birthdays, new year’s eve and holidays alone is scary lonely and that you are not trying so hard, let me tell you from a personal experience when start taking time to think of what you want, where you want to go, and how you imagine your life it will be less scary, first of all, if you have the right family that one thing you should think about it that you’re not alone if you have the right friends and they love you for who you are you have one more reason to be less alone and if you have the right dream, job and plan you are not alone and to find your companion in this journey will be the universe job, not yours because these things happen on its own time, the more you resist it the more it’s difficult to accept it. Especially LOVE when try to force it becomes even more painful. Second of all start the journey of taking care of yourself, not just what movies suggest to wear your best dress putting makeup and go out to meet someone, that’s called forcing it taking care of yourself is by loving yourself fully without a partner validating your worth, put some music dance on your own, watch your favorite movie, read books that will make more curious about life and what’s beyond dating, kissing and having sex, all the things that we stress out about, order your favorite meal and eat it with love, create a routine that suits your personality and soul, prepare yourself a cup of coffee and set on the balcony or by the window and start to say all your thought and fears to God and the Universe, go into an inner journey think about meeting the right person in the right time will be perfect for you.

Kids are one big issue for me, when people give you that look of OMG you don’t think of having babies, or when what happens in movies and most of the time happens in real life this annoying phrase “ when you become thirty mother instances starts to kick in” WHAT THE HELL, traumatizing young girls and women by this idea is what gets people panicking and starting to look in the wrong directions, no there’s nothing wrong with you if you still don’t feel those mother instincts, the same thing with relationships it will happen in the right time because your journey is unique and even if you’re not thinking of having children that’s normal too, nothing is freakin wrong with you. The other thing that makes me angry with members of any society is when they tell women and girls that a relationship and marriage without kids is boring and as a couple, you will start fighting each other, let me tell you one thing GIRL if two people fight each other and they start getting bored with each other because they are not having kids, and they start to drifting away from each other that means they are not in it for the relationship and love when you’re in a relationship for a reason beyond the relationship itself you are in it for all the wrong reason because you need to be in it not just to share a space with someone, having kids with and having sex and who the garbage out. No, but you need a friend, companion, and a teammate who won’t leave because things got tough, plus having a partner you can have fun with even when it’s just the two of you. And that’s what COVID-19 proved with the high divorce rates, couples are separating because for once they spent weeks and months together under one roof, and it was a test whether people were together for love and commitment or just to have a presence of a soul in their lives. 

Last but not least, Girl you are enough on your own just take leap of faith and as a daily reminder I love this quote by the great Dr. Maya Angelou:

On Oprah’s Master ClassDr. Angelou said: “I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.”

ShoroK♥♥

Have you ever felt like you’re lost in-between two worlds and you felt like  you’ve been born in the wrong place and that everything is against you.  Lost in a world where there’s no point of even keep believing unless you move to the next chapter,  and then you realize that the other world will not see you differently. Only because you don’t look like the common Muslim woman you’re spouse to look like for the world to hear your story.

Which in my case that’s what I’ve always felt, lost between two worlds the first looks at me as a rebel and breaking all the social rules, unwilling to obey the cultural and religious rules and uncontrollable because I want to be an artist  just like Lady Gaga, Katy Perry too exposed.  All the doors has been closed in my face because no one wants to get involved with a girl who looks like me, so they won’t clash with society. A middle eastern girl is not allowed to be herself unless i was born and raised in the western world at least i would be too far to create a controversy,  because female artists get in trouble for the tiniest behavior and get punished, it already happened before when in 2007 people from the top called my dad and asked him “why you didn’t ask for a permission before you let her participate in a musical reality show called Star Academy”.

And the other world won’t see me as different because the way i look and how i dress, speak and even live with all my beliefs,  it’s what a normal western girl is , i don’t look like the story that media would report or shine light on my story,  because  i don’t look like the regular Muslim girl that you normally hear about, and i don’t look like diverse enough to sell my music,  because i just look like a western girl not a Muslim Girl. Girls like me in the middle east are lost between wanting to be ourselves and dress, speak, love , think and dream just like any other human being,  we need to be born and raised outside this culture so we can have a chance to make it. Simply because we don’t fit in any category so we are lost in-between two worlds.

Either we shut up and business as usual and we downsize our dreams, ambition and standards, or we move to different places, and get lost in a culture that we’re newly introduced too.

I’m just a girl with a dream ✨  As simple as that.

Shorok❤

Now What?!

It’s been a while since I wrote my last post.  Things have been going too fast and too chaotic, politically and socially, not just in one country but all over the world, and with COVID-19, we are all feeling anxious no one knows when it will end, I know I sound depressed and going crazy, aren’t you??. Yes, there’s good in the bad, that’s how I’m killing the negative vibes, all the bad energy at the end we are human, thinking about all the paused dreams and all the personal dreams that we all have, and all the happy events that got canceled, so many lost their loved ones for this vicious virus, people canceled their wedding, having kids, moving to a new house and waiting for that new job.

All the times we felt lazy and unhappy to go to work and run errands etc. now it became a luxury.   I am an introvert staying at home is my thing, but now that I’m forced to stay at home, I can’t do the normal things like shopping for food, I can’t go to my chiropractor and physiotherapy sessions to treat my back injury, going to the bookstore is not an option I know I can order books online but the feeling to stroll in the bookstore with that unique book’s smell.

Going to the hospital is a nightmare getting the regular flu is scary because you need to go to get a PCR test to know whether you have it or not.   I can’t imagine what dating is in this situation how people are going on dates when most of the restaurants are closed they only do home delivery, even if it’s possible to sit in a restaurant the whole time you will worry not to get infected by the virus, Uhhh it’s walking dead going real, what about just getting together with your friends it’s no longer an option, and we only saw each other for four times in the last eight months, just like online dating me and my friends are face-timing each other.

I am a musician, and I can imagine what other musicians are feeling? For an upcoming artist, it’s scary because your whole life hard work is toward one dream is to sell full stadiums around the world. For an artist to sell your Music you need to have live shows, to travel the entire world, and to be in the studio.  I keep wondering how music concerts are going to be soon, from full stadiums to empty ones.

I know this post might be all over the place just wanted to check-in with others to see how everyone is doing and to tell someone that you are not the only one whether you’re an extrovert or introvert it’s not about loving to stay at home or not, but the feeling that life is restricted, you can’t control the outcomes like going to the hospital, buying books from the bookstore, grabbing a coffee with your friends, planning for a vacation, planning your career, going to college, graduating, that job interview and just having the option to do what you want whenever you want.

My silver lining is my DAD, my books there are too many that I can read without finishing all the books in the world, working out, writing songs, watching movies, and planning for after COVID-19 so the minute it ends, I have a plan that is ready to be implemented.  I’m just taking it day-by-day, and living in the moment is the one thing I learned that it’s the most important thing, have no idea how precious these seconds that your heart beats, you’re alive and healthy.

ShoroK ❤ ❤ ❤ 

BLACK LIVES MATTERS Socially & Systemically

“I can’t breathe” won’t go out of my mind, I’m dreaming of it and I’m having dreams about Gorge Floyd’s daughter Gianna Floyd saying  “Daddy Changed the world” over and over, also I can’t forget what his wife said about how he won’t be there for her graduation and walk her down the aisle I feel all kind of physical sensation and so angry that we still live in a world that judging others for their color, social static, and religion.  Writing about racism is hard and so painful specially if you faced racism, what makes me angry is that when I respond to it in every day’s  life people responds to me with “you are being  politically correct” first of all I don’t like being  politically correct because it means that you’re a saint and you never made a mistake in your life and you will never make one and being politically correct means that we live in a world where there is one opinion and one dream to all of us, Anti- Racism is not being politically correct it’s an actual issue and real problem.  There is systemic racism and social racism too, and how it’s in our everyday life some are unseen because it’s not filmed or even recognized by certain societies in the Middle East as long as it doesn’t harm anyone physically it means it’s not racism. 

In the Middle East, it starts with parents making fun of their kids when they are little kids by telling them and I’ve heard it so many times “Don’t stay out under the sun for too long or else you’ll become black”, it’s the most disgusting thing to say to your children, then kids will start crying because they’ll say to them “look you became black “and it’s just the tip of the iceberg. In the Middle East social racism goes by without a blink of an eye because no one Is bothering themselves to teach their kids or society that it’s wrong,  kids grow up thinking that the “ N” word is fun to say, only because we never had systemic segregation, it been always social segregation the law doesn’t punish you for being black but society dose, since the beginning black people work at the rich and royal family’s homes they won’t sell them or buy them they are raised in their homes as helpers!!!  “ Like it’s not slavery” what they think is that it’s not like the U.S or Africa where the segregation was protected by the law and police so it’s not racism and that’s what makes people in the Middle East now and then sleep peacefully.  In the present time,  I get so angry all the time from artist putting a black face and wearing African outfits with intention to make it look like it’s fun not knowing the history  and their music videos will get millions of hit’s, and  in drama show’s people will wear black face like it’s funny not with intention to show something historical, and I know many will say that oh no it’s not that big of a deal we are peaceful and not racist, then let me be specific how about when an Algerian black girl won Miss Algeria everyone talked about how ugly and wondering how did she won she’s not white, how about when Meghan Markel married Prince Harry everyone one thought and said it out loud that she’s black she’s not at the royal family’s level, and friend of the family even sent a photo that shocked me that this person been in my life for years he sent a photo of a white women saying that Harry should marry this beauty not that blackish ugly actress, it’s Middle East unspoken rule of royal families,  that the queen or the princess the one who will give birth to the future king should be white it’s unspoken rule but we all know about it secretly and even if someone from the royal family marries someone black they keep her hidden.

From my personal experience where do I even begin, I was bullied my whole life in school for being black for example when I was seventeen I met a guy and we started talking and things were going very well we were talking about life marriage and kids and he out of nowhere said  “No we can’t get married because you are black girl you can still be in my life beside my wife”  I remember I was sick to my stomach and I ended things, and after a year I have meet a guy from another Arabic  country we were talking just like the first time and he again out of nowhere said “You know I will sacrifice a lot for being with black girl because you know how our society sees it”  in that moment my head was spinning how can you be that racist and still telling me you love m , what I realized years from that situation is that we are not just uneducated but we are not even seeing it as a condition that been passed  through our DNA not knowing that we have it and that’s the problem, other incident when I was sixteen one of my mom’s extended family and they come from mixed race family, I was talking about this guy I like so much this person responded with “You know that guys like him they don’t marry black girl like you” even when my dad is black and I’m black there’s no logic,  and other situation at school when I was fourteen I was having a random conversation with a white girl I still remember her and she’s famous here in my country I said to her “ Oh why did you cut your hair”  she responded with  “At least my hair will grow but you can’t change your black color”, one other girl every morning she will say the most disgusting racist slangs like whenever she sees me walking with a white girl she makes sure to say something like “Wash your hands and her color will come out your hands”, years from that I was on a famous musical reality show and just when I thought that I will never hear a racist comment again and I am sure it’s been recorded one of the guys who’s been responsible for cleaning the place said to me “Shorok your task is cleaning the floor and when I declined he responded with “ The dirt won’t even show on your hand”  meaning  that it won’t be won’t notice because of my color” I remember I was so angry of him  because the whole time he’s so nice to me and out of nowhere he said that why? he kept apologizing but I don’t think he would’ve apologized if i didn’t get mad, another incident was when we were in a bus and it was so dark and one of the guys said no problem Shorok can smile and it will light the bus and again this guy was so nice to me all the time and protects me, all these incidents happened with people from different Middle Eastern and Arabic countries, not just one country, all the time racism is our DNA that it’s not even noticed as racism it’s because even black people are feed by their parents or society that they are less like it’s a common thing to hear black people in the Middle East to say how they want to marry a white woman to recreate the family’s genetics,  it’s a known as a joke here. And even when I came out of that musical reality show the comments on the internet because social media wasn’t that big then twitter was not even big in 2007, the comments were about my color and how ugly I look and that I look disgusting and that I don’t deserve to be there and most of them they are coming from Arabic Middle Eastern people. 

I never believed racism is that big in the U.S when I was younger I thought that it’s there but it’s not that big because it’s America the place of the  “American Dream “ until I went there and the most unbelievable thing happened to me and my dad a white driver from a famous transportation app saw me and my dad and he immediately said “Oh this ride will take too long and along the way I’ll pick up a too many passengers and it will be crowded I said fine because it never hit me that he doesn’t want to take us it was so obvious and he kept giving us excuses, I looked at me and dad who told me to ask him to stop the car and step out of the ride I was so shocked because until that moment I didn’t see it as a big issue like it’s just in some southern  states, to be honest from that moment I started to educate myself about racism in America and  I believed that the police brutality in the U.S is bigger than what the media reporting, because of what happened to me and he wasn’t even a police officer and to be honest from what I read, I was too scared even to go back to the U.S especially when I started to see all the black men being killed by racist cops because my dad is black and what if a police officer stops him in the airport or the streets and kills  him,  I am that sacred that I really considered never going back to the U.S even that I love being there,  the people are amazing I have a lot of friends there but what if one time a police officer feels the need to stop my dad based  on his color and get him killed I can’t even imagine.

The other issue, we need to learn is to stop making it a celebrity thing, when celebrities become bigger than the issue and using it by their PR teams to gain more fans or be more likable is to make sure to jump on every serious issue and make it look like it’s just the entertainment business issue, I like and admire people like Oprah Winfrey and Denzel Washington they never act with their EGO to use their celebrity statues to be likable with the intention to make their name bigger and more, they truly want to heal the nation and to make a difference in the world while doing it behind the scenes and they don’t add fuel to the fire, I have never in my life heard Denzel Washington bragging about his achievements or making sure that his name will be on every entertainment news just to feed his ego even Oprah she always make sure to say her opinion without letting the world of social media or the news networks bully her into silence, she makes sure that the right people feel the change not just the people in the entertainment business  I will never forget her speech in the golden globes when she talked about the ME TOO movement I quote her

“ But it’s not just a story affecting the entertainment industry. It’s one that transcends any culture, geography, race, religion, politics, or workplace. So I want tonight to express gratitude to all the women who have endured years of abuse and assault because they — like my mother — had children to feed and bills to pay and dreams to pursue. They’re the women whose names we’ll never know. They are domestic workers and farm workers; they are working in factories and they work in restaurants, and they’re in academia and engineering and medicine and science; they’re part of the world of tech and politics and business; they’re our athletes in the Olympics and they’re our soldiers in the military.”

, basically they want the real change not the “In the moment attention”.  And one of the things that made me walk away from politics, is how politicians because they will always say the right things to get elected or things the crowd want to hear, because in these important defining moments politicians will always jump to the issue to serve their political agendas driven by their egos and how they can use it for their interest, knowing that behind closed doors they don’t give a dam about it and they take it as an advantage to get people on their side and not as a moment to truly change the world.

At the end, what I want to say is that racism first starts at HOME, Hating one another starts from Home,  if it makes you angry start to correct your own home, hating each other’s based on our Religion starts from HOME, political difference and killing each other for politics and politicians at home richer than me and you while sleeping with a peaceful conscious because the know at HOME someone teaching their children that the other part is Evil so it starts at HOME, when someone disrespects someone with a racial comments it starts with you and me at HOME, change come when we raise our children to have healthy opinions and good manners it doesn’t matter what you think is right or wrong this generation is feed with accounts on social media fans bullying each other’s, political extreme ideas from all sides and we have millions and millions of people all they have is fear, hate and a revenge mentality. Let’s remember it all starts from one HOME to millions of HOMES filled with Racism, Sexism and so many issues.   How do I know that it starts from HOME because I was raised to never judge or see people with their color, religion, nationality and sexuality, and I’m so proud of how I was raised to be open to love everyone the same way. Remember, it all starts in your own HOME, you can set all the laws but you still can’t control what happens inside peoples HOME.

Finally, I will end this article with one of my quotes “We were all humans until race disconnected us, religion separated us, politics divided us and wealth classified us.” ~ANONYMOUS

To all the souls we lost REST IN PEACE. Justice will be served sooner or later.

ShoroK♥♥

covid

 

First of all, I’m an introvert and I find my peace at home in the silence away from the crowd, but even introverts are feeling uncomfortable and specially if you live in with your family, it will affect you and your introvert soul and specially if they are not responsible and uneducated enough with the issue.

 

Before I continue  just a reminder I don’t claim that I know all the answers to this issue and I’m just like everyone else I’m trying to survive these hard time specially if you have mental issues and anxiety.   Being  an introvert and self-isolation is not a big deal to me because I’m used to stay at home all the time, but with this pandemic even  introverts are being affected by the uncertainty, it’s the news and the amount of the information we get on a daily biases which is effecting all of us with no exceptions. Rich, poor, famous, etc…. We are all in this together.

 

I am panicking just like everyone else, I keep searching for the updates, the number of cases and the vaccine trials, hearing the news of how many are dead and how many people are being affected by the virus,  it’s more than seventy thousand deaths and  more than one million people are affected by it, hearing that some countries don’t even have enough beds to treat those affected,  basically the world is in war with an invisible enemy, even the world leaders are confused and shocked, that it’s 2020 and nothing can be done to end this war, this virus forced major cities to shut down, cities like Milan, New York, Paris etc… it’s World War III  but this time the enemy is invisible.

It started to trigger me mentally with all the information coming from social media, people around me and specially those who are not taking the issue serious enough and keep going out like it’s a regular flu, it’s an overwhelming, so I started trying some activities to stay positive and to be strong, because no one knows how long this thing will last.  These are couple of things that made it little batter, it’s important to mention that this activates and tools are not for everyone, you should ask a professional if you are being treated by one, you can try the things I listed if you think it’s working for you, it includes as follows:

– I tried listing to music and it’d been helping a lot I can skip this nightmare at least for glimpse of time.

-I tried lighting a candle; turn off the lights, and applying a sheet mask while watching something on Netflix.

-Reading a book is one of the most important thing in my daily routine it takes you to different places, beautiful fictional places and some self-helping books that been working as a therapist for me.

-Having a genuine conversation with my dad is one of the best things ever, he knows how to make me relax and to look at things from a positive perspective, telling about his experiences through tough times, without any doubt he’s the right therapist.

-Face timing my best friends have been helpful too.

-Cleaning and organizing the place is helpful too I put some good music while cleaning and doing the laundry.

-Cooking makes me happy and positive, it’s the only time I stop thinking about anything but the meal I’m cooking, I’m so occupied that I won’t scroll throw my phone looking for updates.

 

-When it comes to news I get my updates from Bill Gates, because he’s the one who warned the world about this pandemic, and he’s aware of all the updates.

 

Finally I hope you stay at home and to stay safe, for you and for you family, those in front lines nurses and doctors and the vulnerable.  P.S Thank You to all the health workers all around the world, you are the real heroes in this war and we are glad that you are sacrificing your lives for us. You deserve all the medals and  honors in the world THANK YOU FOR YOUR SACRIFICE.

 

ShoroK♥♥

Until Death Do Us Apart

 

Why do we have to lose someone in a tragic accident or crash for us to understand that life is too short and that life is not promised to anyone, why do we need to be reminded all the time that life is more than trends, looks and whose right and whose wrong, why we need to lose big names like Kobe Bryant, Princess Diana for us to remember that we are all humans.  Bullying, Trolling each others and the new trend “Canceling Someone ” and creating a negative environment which never serves anyone, and start a campaign to end someone’s career or following someone daily just to comment on every detail in their lives defending it with the most ridicules answer “they put themselves in that position” responding every time that they are famous than they should have a thick skin  so they are allowed to bully them and troll them until it’s too late. We are witnessing also trolling non-famous people thinking that no one in the world is immune to any attack then act like they’re shocked and sad that the individual took their own lives, because they couldn’t take it anymore but it’s too late to take it back.

After the tragic crash that took one of the kindest human being ever Princess Diana  , the campaign that the press created and even society along and to me i think that press is made by a group of people coming from the society to reflect the public opinion, they followed her, shamed her, bullied her in the press, people used to say that she’s going from man to man even the positive feedback was a pressure on her shoulders because we think that when we defend someone against bullying and trolling which also puts even more pressure on the victim  knowing that it’s going to be worse, because the bully will become even more ruthless,  And after her death the whole world acted like they were shocked and how it’s too soon for her to be gone , we all thought that the world will change, and that the world will learn from that lesson before it’s too late again. The world only mourn the loss for couple of days and everyone start to speak  wisely, and just like that the world went back to the same old habits, picking on people, how they look, who they’re dating, how ugly their looks, fake for having plastic surgery and ugly for not doing anything, and the world always pick a target whether a famous person or not until we lose someone again, we go back to the same circle mourn the dead for days and then go back to the same old habits. Yes we all fell  for it because sometimes it seems like it just for fun, nothing is serious it’s just a retweet or a replay that we all share unconsciously creating a negative energy in the world, yes there things that are funny and it doesn’t harm anyone, the most dangers thing is to pick a target and start to bring this person down thinking that we are prophets and we don’t have personal  flaws and we never made mistakes, we all made mistakes and we all said something not knowing that it’s wrong or we didn’t have the information or the knowledge about the issue, we all acted somehow like kids. Now we live in an age even if the person didn’t commit a huge mistake and how many times we witnessed this when people and media pick someone and put a target on this person’s back and no matter what they say or do the world immediately makes sure they are attacked and bullied to the point it turns into death threats and hate crimes.

We need to think seriously about this issue because it’s like the climate change there will be a time when the whole world will be living under huge mental health illness crisis because everyone is anxious about every single detail in their lives, this will cost the world great number of souls who we may lose from depression, anxiety and overthinking.  Let’s teach our children to be kinder and to have sympathy towards others. Let’s fight bullying, trolling and “canceling” people only because it will give someone couple of RTs, followers, some money and becoming popular for one hot hour. Remember that’s your karma and it will come back to hunt you in many forms and situations.

Finally being kind is sexier and makes you look attractive and will create a lot of positive energy in the world that you will receive a good karma along the way.  Yes life is not fun without joking around and laughing but when it turns into a vicious attack and wishing someone harm and death it’s no longer fun it’s a crime.  BE KIND

 

SHOROK♥♥