To all my single Ladies,
Lately, I’ve been noticing girls, women feeling less about themselves and falling for the new trend where everyone is getting married, girls are having babies, and couples in love sharing their lives on social media and just sharing the happy times and the cute moments making it look like if you don’t have that you’re alone and you’re not living the “#lifegoals”, people are having babies and making it look like it’s cool on these platforms, young girls feeling like they want that too but all that is just a false expectation, having babies is a not cute it’s a huge responsibility, getting married is not cute it’s a responsibility too all these videos out there making it look like a ROMCOM movie, the truth is that those people are doing it for the views and money, and most of time for the sponsorships, so STOP QUESTIONING YOUR JOURNEY AND PATH.
I know the world is going through a lot and I know that it might not be that important to some, but life is moving forward and daily life is not pausing, people are getting married, breaking-up, cheating, and new people falling in love everyday even during COVID-19, so I’m writing this post to every girl, women whose being single and not being bothered by it, but even unbothered single girls are not being left alone. Let’s start with some Movies, ADs, magazines and even when you’re having a normal human conversation with people at work is too much sometimes it feels like people are bothered that you’re not concerned about when you will meet the someone, and everyone has a mission to find you the ONE, even when for the million times you say “I know I’m going to meet the right person in the right time” makes them even more motivated to find you, someone. The funny thing is when people keep pushing that old myth which is an old news to me the “ you can’t b single and happy, you have to go out and put yourself out there” it’s one of the most disgusting opinion, first of all I’m not a bottle of water on the shelf I need to be picked up, second of all why it feels so unrealistic to those in a relationships and marriage that single ladies are not happy, so I decided to write this post to clarify it for once and for all to those put all their power to force girls and women to be miserable and lonely until they find that someone, and those people succeeded at two things one by making girls and women feel scared and anxious about their body clock that time is ticking and if your thirty or twenty eight and you still didn’t meet the one, then when are you going to have the right time to have children because you can’t just meet someone and immediately marry them and have kids, that’s why so many girls are rushing to meet someone to get married so by the age thirty she have kids and Voilà she feels accomplished. It’s the narrative that society creates in young girls mind, that if you have the right job, the right husband and two beautiful kids with a picture perfect frame then you’re accomplished the ultimate goal, and then after years girls and women they find themselves alone in the wrong marriage, and now she thinks that something is wrong with her and that she’s miserable.
Let’s correct this, and throw away all the past judgment, before that. there is nothing wrong with dreaming of having a family, kids and getting married and wanting that is supper healthy the same with being single and feeling fulfilled and taking you own time to find the right person and walking into a relationship with steady steps, you don’t rush anything taking your own time, the thing is that after a while you realize that things are not how society is trying to show them, being with the right person in the right time is way better than meeting the wrong person in the wrong place and time. Mentally we are programmed to be scared of being alone, to celebrate birthdays, new year’s eve and holidays alone is scary lonely and that you are not trying so hard, let me tell you from a personal experience when start taking time to think of what you want, where you want to go, and how you imagine your life it will be less scary, first of all, if you have the right family that one thing you should think about it that you’re not alone if you have the right friends and they love you for who you are you have one more reason to be less alone and if you have the right dream, job and plan you are not alone and to find your companion in this journey will be the universe job, not yours because these things happen on its own time, the more you resist it the more it’s difficult to accept it. Especially LOVE when try to force it becomes even more painful. Second of all start the journey of taking care of yourself, not just what movies suggest to wear your best dress putting makeup and go out to meet someone, that’s called forcing it taking care of yourself is by loving yourself fully without a partner validating your worth, put some music dance on your own, watch your favorite movie, read books that will make more curious about life and what’s beyond dating, kissing and having sex, all the things that we stress out about, order your favorite meal and eat it with love, create a routine that suits your personality and soul, prepare yourself a cup of coffee and set on the balcony or by the window and start to say all your thought and fears to God and the Universe, go into an inner journey think about meeting the right person in the right time will be perfect for you.
Kids are one big issue for me, when people give you that look of OMG you don’t think of having babies, or when what happens in movies and most of the time happens in real life this annoying phrase “ when you become thirty mother instances starts to kick in” WHAT THE HELL, traumatizing young girls and women by this idea is what gets people panicking and starting to look in the wrong directions, no there’s nothing wrong with you if you still don’t feel those mother instincts, the same thing with relationships it will happen in the right time because your journey is unique and even if you’re not thinking of having children that’s normal too, nothing is freakin wrong with you. The other thing that makes me angry with members of any society is when they tell women and girls that a relationship and marriage without kids is boring and as a couple, you will start fighting each other, let me tell you one thing GIRL if two people fight each other and they start getting bored with each other because they are not having kids, and they start to drifting away from each other that means they are not in it for the relationship and love when you’re in a relationship for a reason beyond the relationship itself you are in it for all the wrong reason because you need to be in it not just to share a space with someone, having kids with and having sex and who the garbage out. No, but you need a friend, companion, and a teammate who won’t leave because things got tough, plus having a partner you can have fun with even when it’s just the two of you. And that’s what COVID-19 proved with the high divorce rates, couples are separating because for once they spent weeks and months together under one roof, and it was a test whether people were together for love and commitment or just to have a presence of a soul in their lives.
Last but not least, Girl you are enough on your own just take leap of faith and as a daily reminder I love this quote by the great Dr. Maya Angelou:
On Oprah’s Master Class, Dr. Angelou said: “I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.”